🔥 The Top 10 Most Profane Audiobooks of All Time

(And how to enjoy them without the f-bombs)

Did you know some of today’s most popular audiobooks include hundreds of explicit words? Whether you're listening on a road trip with your kids or just prefer a cleaner experience, it helps to know what you're getting into.

At Siftbooks, we analyze audiobooks for profanity, sexual content, and more—so you don’t have to. Below are the 10 most profanity-packed titles from our growing library, ranked by total swear word count.

💡 Note: This list is based on books we've filtered in our system so far. More titles are being added weekly.

📚 1. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

• Total Profanity Count: 1,217

  • F-words: 475

  • S-words: 201

  • A-words: 195

• Sexual Content Score: 🔥🔥🔥 (361 suggestive sentences, 18 explicit scenes)

• Why it made the list: Crescent City’s brutal fantasy world comes with language to match.
  

📚 2. House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J. Maas

• Total Profanity Count: 1,162

  • F-words: 460

  • S-words: 196

  • A-words: 177

• Sexual Content Score: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 (767 suggestive sentences, 32 explicit scenes)

• Why it made the list: The sequel turns up the heat—and the swearing.
  

📚 3. The Stand by Stephen King

• Total Profanity Count: 1,116

  • F-words: 250

  • S-words: 160

  • A-words: 136

• Sexual Content Score: 🔥🔥🔥 (674 suggestive sentences, 40 explicit scenes)

• Why it made the list: King’s epic tale of apocalypse pulls no punches.
  

📚 4. The Bone Tree by Greg Iles

• Total Profanity Count: 739

  • F-words: 102

  • S-words: 125

  • A-words: 98

• Sexual Content Score: 🔥🔥 (243 suggestive sentences, 8 explicit scenes)

• Why it made the list: A Southern crime saga that’s as intense as it is explicit.
  

📚 5. Natchez Burning by Greg Iles

• Total Profanity Count: 718

  • F-words: 52

  • S-words: 99

  • A-words: 95

• Sexual Content Score: 🔥🔥🔥 (349 suggestive sentences, 12 explicit scenes)

• Why it made the list: Deep secrets and raw storytelling drive this legal thriller.
  

📚 6. Columbus Day by Craig Alanson

• Total Profanity Count: 663

• Why it made the list: Military sci-fi packed with snark, aliens, and lots of four-letter words.
  

📚 7. The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith (J.K. Rowling)

• Total Profanity Count: 529

• Why it made the list: Gritty British crime noir written by one of the world's most famous authors.
  

📚 8. Mission Critical by Mark Greaney

• Total Profanity Count: 528

• Why it made the list: From the Gray Man series, this is espionage lit at full throttle—with the language to prove it.
  

📚 9. The Dark Tower II: The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King

• Total Profanity Count: 527

• Why it made the list: King’s genre-bending fantasy epic stays raw and real.
  

📚 10. Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey

• Total Profanity Count: 435

• Why it made the list: The inspiration for The Expanse TV series, this sci-fi hit has just as much grit as space dust.
  

🎧 Want to Listen Without the Language?

Try Siftbooks—the only audiobook platform that filters profanity and sexual content without killing the story.

📈 Why This Matters

Profanity in modern audiobooks is skyrocketing. In fact, the average 2024 fantasy audiobook contains 6x more profanity than those from the 1990s. Whether you're a parent, a conservative listener, or just tired of surprise F-bombs, you deserve options.